She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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