So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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