He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize