Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
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Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
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Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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