You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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