That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
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Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
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Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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