Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
