I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.