Texts From Last Night

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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.

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  (860): i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him. http://tfl.nu/6b9m
  Replies (9) Good night (749) Bad night (3031)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.

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  (206): Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use. http://tfl.nu/b12a
  Replies (14) Good night (3820) Bad night (579)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out

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  (517): On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out http://tfl.nu/qemu
  Replies (18) Good night (7003) Bad night (894)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.

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  (270): I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world. http://tfl.nu/l4ml
  Replies (17) Good night (953) Bad night (8428)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.

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  (404): I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party. http://tfl.nu/j6hi
  Replies (12) Good night (7119) Bad night (957)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.

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  (973): Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick. http://tfl.nu/r63g
  Replies (7) Good night (903) Bad night (3709)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.

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  (817): He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms. http://tfl.nu/g9bp
  Replies (8) Good night (2505) Bad night (800)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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  (206): we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment http://tfl.nu/gn32
  Replies (3) Good night (2070) Bad night (699)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.

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  (985): Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me. http://tfl.nu/35pb
  Replies (6) Good night (1502) Bad night (615)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.

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  (319): I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine. http://tfl.nu/o11z
  Replies (7) Good night (1360) Bad night (699)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

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  (815): We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of. http://tfl.nu/md9p
  Replies (21) Good night (1444) Bad night (2339)
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  (909): View more from California

  and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....

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  (909): and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests".... http://tfl.nu/4e7u
  Replies (7) Good night (3546) Bad night (799)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.

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  (360): I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow. http://tfl.nu/5cxp
  Replies (4) Good night (363) Bad night (671)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"

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  (516): I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice" http://tfl.nu/h37t
  Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (239)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.

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  (732): I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab. (848): No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've. http://tfl.nu/k222
  Replies (6) Good night (887) Bad night (200)

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