Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dating After Heartbreak
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE