Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.