just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
