U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
