I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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