The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
