How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm bleeding and have questions
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