Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
