would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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