the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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