Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
