Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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