like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
