So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
