Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
