i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
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I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
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I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
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