If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
