We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
