I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize