apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
