Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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