just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
