ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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