Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize