I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
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She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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