PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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