my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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