He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
