Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
