how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
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