i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she peed on how many people?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
