im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
