Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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