The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
