Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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