8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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