Your dad touched me again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
