You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just invented taco cereal.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize