she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
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