Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
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frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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