I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
