Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
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I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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