I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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