so that wasnt chicken after all
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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