did you get engaged???
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
