Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
