I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
