o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize