is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
