Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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