dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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