Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
