Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
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