i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
